April 2010
3 posts
Its terrifying to think that after investing a year and a half of my life with someone, with trust, love and every other good feeling possible, that it might all be over. Its so sudden, so unexpected. The worst part about all of this is that I can have no influence in the decision. Its all him. He does not know what he wants, feels like he is being torn in 37 different directions. He never has...
Oh and one more thing,
I decided today that I will become an awesome piano player before I graduate. I have all the resources in the world here and I would be an idiot not to just do it. Practicing sucks but the end result is totally worth it. To bad Im to poor for lessons haha.
I feel like I will never be not busy enough to actually post to this. Maybe one day… haha.
December 2009
1 post
lets try this again!
Every time I get on here and look at everyone’s posts it makes me want to start updating again but I never seem to find the time. Well, fall quarters over and another is about to start so Im going to try and make the time. I miss this.
New years is coming up and that means finding another resolution… that I most likely will forget about and give up on by the time Febuary rolls around....
September 2009
2 posts
where has it all gone?
I can not believe how fast this last year of my life is gone. Another summer is over and school starts back up on wednesday. Where did freshmen year go? I still dont know what Im doing with my life. Ha.
It's 9.9.09. September has 9 letters. Wednesday...
mariayalynn:
samsantos:
(via spreadlegsnotlies)
and it was my boyfriend and I’s 9 month anniversary haha
March 2009
2 posts
send me the sunshine!
I’m tired of this blah cold weather.
in less than a week though I am on my way to California. God I love spring break:)
A whole week of endless driving, music and laughter, sunshine and beaches, six flags, wandering around the city, and at the end of it all getting to see 3OH!3, the Maine and family force 5. IM STOKED:)
im bad at this reblogging stuff, buttt....
I have a blackberry peral and I love it. Its not a bad phone at all.
alishalynnlovely:
So, I hate cell phones a lot. I never break cell phones. My sister does all the time and she always gets them replaced for free. She has had thirteen phones in the past year and a half or so and has only paid for two or three of them. I’ve had four phones ever. I got a Voyager for my birthday in August and...
February 2009
7 posts
i love;
the sunshine, having good days at work, getting a good grade on my geography test, tanning, listening to my ipod, getting my hair cut, having the most amazing boy in the world, having wonderful friends, finishing my to do list, playing the piano, and finally feeling like I am getting my life in order.
over all, amazing day so far:)
alishalynnlovely:
I got accepted into Evergreen. Live at home for two more years, go to school and come back like I am now. Be a barista at Urraco for two more years. Stay safe.
Apply to Western late. See if I get in. Break my boundaries. Experience college. Live in a dorm. Make new friends. Scare myself, but maybe end up having fun.
I thought I picked the safe route. Why am I still thinking...
Today...
Is cold. I need to be productive but its super hard to motivate myself!
I need to…..
Go tanning at 2:30
Go to Fred Myers to get wrapping paper or something for kegans birthday present
Pay my parking ticket
Find a play to go to to make up my absence for theatre class
buy my ticket for 3OH!3, The Maine and Family Force 5
Work out!!!
Go to piano class
and go bowling finally.
oh...
Today Rocks;
I got 100% on my first Philosophy paper that I was so worried about, AND today was most definately pay day! Whoo!!
Also, its snowing. To the extreme. Un like normal Ellensburg weather, this is the first time it has snowed since we came back from Christmas break. Im not really happy about this because in 25 minutes we had an inch or so…which most likely means that we will be getting mass...
“Sometimes, someone comes into your life that changes everything. Raises your...”
I will never understand why somedays are so much harder for me than others when nothing different happens to make them that way. I am missing Tyler so freaking much right now that it hurts down to the core of my heart. I hate this. I hate feeling like this. I am tired of being so angry sometimes that he iwas taken from me because everything in my life now is so good that I allmost feel guilty...
its a beautiful day;
really, it is. I wonder if its going to snow at all anymore.
This is such a stressful week already. For one I hate mondays because I have class from 6:30 to 10:30 and I need to work out and do homework. I have a test in geography on Wednesday that I am definitely not ready for, and a test in philosophy on thursday that I dont even know what its on. Go figure. Im over this week allready haha.
January 2009
3 posts
who would have thought;
Things turned around pretty quickly this last week or two.
I moved out of Carmody and got a room somewhere else on campus with Alyssa. I love Heather to death and I hope that we can still be close but living together just was not working out. Our schedules were really different and things were not turning out the way they should. We have not talked at all since I moved out, but hopefully it does...
Alisha:)
I never seem to have time to remember to do things ever, so naturally I forgot like five hundred times to say thanks for the most amazing package EVER:) It literally made…my month. Easily haha.
:):):)
Finally a New Year;
and I could not be happier!
Its time for change,
Time for me to be a better person.
Im happy and Im loving my life:)
December 2008
12 posts
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter...”
It is what it is;
Sometimes I seem to let myself get wrapped up in the difficulties that life presents me with and its hard to remember that life is not always going to be a walk in the park. As happy as I try to be, it seems as if when one thing is going the best it ever could possibly be, five other things proceed to crumble beneath me. I am so blessed to have Kegan and I can honestly say that for the first time...
next tattoo!
After researching for awhile and thinking about different ideas I have decided that I want to get two sparrows on my left shoulder.
Sparrows stand for freedom, loyalty, eternity, and luck. They are also known for traveling great distances, but always returning home. Also, back in ancient egypt they were associated with the stars and believed that they caught the souls of those who have passed....
Want the cold hard truth?
Our time is short…
After what I have gone through, most would think its a cynical statement. Let me be the first to tell you, its not. Its the furthest thing from actually. You don’t know when you could be waking up for the last time. Even though that might be scary to think about, its the honest truth. I’m glad that I have realized this, I have taken life for granted for so...
why on earth did it feel like I just got punched in the stomach when I found out he has a new girlfriend.
I really should not care. FUCKKKKKKKK:/
Heres to making the best out of things;
to the 12 hour trip home from school that ended up being kind of fun, that brought leah and I closer, and that made me thankful for being alive,
to coming home to a beautiful house with amazing parents that I could not be more thankful for but to realizing my heart is now in ellensburg,
to having my best friend not say a word to me upon coming home, but to that making me realize who my real best...
what have I gotten myself into;
Being home sucks. Why did I let my heart get into a relationship right before break? It has been 3 days and Im going insane. I probably should not miss him this much. What sucks even more then him just being 5 hours away is that the passes are terrible so I most likely wont even be able to visit him…and he does not have cell service at his house so that means not even being able to text him....
:/
Break starts tomorrow and I actually am going home for almost a month. I really dont know how I feel about this, to be honest Im pretty scared. I have made my life here, with the people here and everything else here. I feel like I have nothing back home other than my parents, who dont get me wrong I am super excited to see, but I just am not ready. I have not felt home sick once since I have been...
“I am coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith,...”
Lets give it another go;
It feels so weird to be in a relationship again, weird to be taken on dates again. It’s been so long since I have been in an actual normal relationship that I almost don’t know what to do with myself now that I’m in one again. I could not be one bit happier, but to be honest I’m horrified. Completely horrified. I’m afraid to fall in love again or to put my whole heart into something. Every time I...
November 2008
1 post
like a blur;
Things have been flying by so fast since I have been here. The weeks seem like only a day or two, its insane. I guess its a good thing though. Surprisingly enough I do not get homesick. I actually have not once. I miss my parents, but thats about it. It will be super nice to go home for Thanksgiving, but at the same time I dont feel like going home. Its weird, I dont know. It just that now I have...
October 2008
4 posts
fuck this place;
Im tired of never being able to be alone,
Im tired of the food, of quarters in the washers and dryers,
Im tired of living in a small square,
Im tired of feeling the most alone Ive ever felt when in reality I have more complany than Ive ever had in my whole life,
Im tired of missing my parents and my home to the point of tears,
Im tired of walking on egg shells,
Im tired of my old friends...
Yuck;
Im tired of this. I need a boy who will accept me for who I am. Who will understand what has made me the way I am, and who will love me and accept me for it. I want someone who is honest, loving, compassionate, trustworthey, funny and respectful.
Are all the boys like that gone in this world?
I have been through so much shit and have such a fear of comitment now that I just need someone who will...
Things have been going so incredibly fast, its hard to believe that I have been living here for around 3 weeks. My days go by so quickly considering the fact that I wake up for a noon class and when Im done its either 4 or 5 so most of my day is gone leaving time for homework, dinner and then basically bed.
I got caught up in emotions the last two weeks regarding relationships but I got some...
September 2008
24 posts
oh joy;
I have decided Im not the kind of person who enjoys being single.
Note to self;
its way to much effort and wasted worries.
UGHHH haha.
“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And...”
– St. Augustine this is so true.
livin the life?
I can not even begin to explain how busy everything has been this week. Classes have started and have been pretty good, and I have been making tons of new friends. There has all ready been a bit of drama unfortunately but luckily it was not between Heather and I so its all good.The food is not bad at all here so thats another big bonus. All in all things are awesome. This is a short up date but...
finally;
It feels weird that this is my home, but Im loving it…sort of…haha. Its scary yet exciting but its not home feeling yet. But in all honesty our room is sweet for what we had to work with. I dont get my internet until monday because something is messed up and cant be fixed until people are in thir offices, so Im using roomies computer haha. Night!
bah:)
Im packed up and leaving at 7 tomorrow morning for school:)
zack just came and said goodbye. it was sad.
this is bittersweet, but im way excited!
“you cant dwell over the past,moving forward and pushing on is the only...”
– my amazing best friend:)
when it rains it pours i guess;
Ugh, I am so incredably sick right now, its just my luck. I have to pack up all my stuff tomorrow so I better get not sick by then. It sucks so bad that last night and tonight I had plans with friends, and now that Im sick I cant see them:(
Then this morning the dentist called and said they over looked two cavities that I have, and then my dad came home and backed his trailer into my car so its...
yikes;
work was terrible today. Lots of drama and way to many customers haha. It was my last day until Im back for christmas break though and I made $51 in tips so I guess I cant complain to much. 6 more days until I move. BAH! I packed more last night. I almost have every thing packed now so I guess thats one less stress.
I keep having anxiety attacks and its driving me insane. I cant eat or sleep...
yey;
One of the girls I work with is having a party at her house and Im headed there now. Im stoked. Everyone I work with is in their 30’s but I never feel like they are. They are the best!:)
7 days;
I’m getting sadder every day that passes.
I”m scared to leave the people I love, yet I know I will be so much happier away from Shelton with new friends. I’m afraid that the person I love the most here will move on and forget me once I’m gone. I hope I’m wrong….
What I did realize today though; All though Ive lost most contact with my girls, they will always...
