Its terrifying to think that after investing a year and a half of my life with someone, with trust, love and every other good feeling possible, that it might all be over. Its so sudden, so unexpected. The worst part about all of this is that I can have no influence in the decision. Its all him. He does not know what he wants, feels like he is being torn in 37 different directions. He never has opinions or obvious emotions about our relationship and today he cried. He cried for a split second, told me he did not know what he wanted any more, pulled the its not you its me and I need some time, and then left for work. Its insane how ten minutes of the day can absolutely crush every thing inside you. I love this man with every single thing inside me, he is my everything. For the first time in my life I have felt 100% sure with where I was going. I have been so sure for so long that this was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Now I am just sitting here in pieces waiting for his 8 hour work shift to be over so we can “talk more”. I hope Im wrong. I hope this can all be fixed and I hope that this is just a bump in the road. Please, let it just be a bump in the road. Please.
♥erika danielle.
Oh and one more thing,
I decided today that I will become an awesome piano player before I graduate. I have all the resources in the world here and I would be an idiot not to just do it. Practicing sucks but the end result is totally worth it. To bad Im to poor for lessons haha.
I feel like I will never be not busy enough to actually post to this. Maybe one day… haha.
lets try this again!
Every time I get on here and look at everyone’s posts it makes me want to start updating again but I never seem to find the time. Well, fall quarters over and another is about to start so Im going to try and make the time. I miss this.
New years is coming up and that means finding another resolution… that I most likely will forget about and give up on by the time Febuary rolls around. This time around I really need to start focusing on working out and eating better. Not that Im the definition of “fat” or anything, but the stuff I am eating is not doing well for the inside of my body and if I dont start develping health eating and excercize habbits now than when I get older I will start to gain excessive ammouts of weight. I have the tools at hand, I have an awesome gym that I can go to for free and the ability to buy and eat healthy food so whats stopping me? I always feel better when I am living a healthy life style so thats my goal this year. If I get over my lazieness it will not be hard at all, I am the only thing keeping myself from it.
Things have been good, Im finally declaring my major and my minor so thats all on track finally, Kegan and I just had our one year on the 9th and things have been going great with him and Christmas is almost here so I will get to see my family! Today specifically though has been weird, its another anniversary of my uncle passing away and Kegan is working all day so Im left with my mind thinking about everything and I just had to fill out paperwork to submit to a correctional facility so I can have the permission to visit my cousin in jail. Growing up certainly has its downfalls thats for sure.
Thats about it for this, lets see if I can keep up with posts this time around!
where has it all gone?
I can not believe how fast this last year of my life is gone. Another summer is over and school starts back up on wednesday. Where did freshmen year go? I still dont know what Im doing with my life. Ha.
It’s 9.9.09. September has 9 letters. Wednesday has 9 letters. It’s the 252nd day of the year, which adds up to equal 9
(via spreadlegsnotlies)
and it was my boyfriend and I’s 9 month anniversary haha
send me the sunshine!
I’m tired of this blah cold weather.
in less than a week though I am on my way to California. God I love spring break:)
A whole week of endless driving, music and laughter, sunshine and beaches, six flags, wandering around the city, and at the end of it all getting to see 3OH!3, the Maine and family force 5. IM STOKED:)
im bad at this reblogging stuff, buttt….
I have a blackberry peral and I love it. Its not a bad phone at all.
So, I hate cell phones a lot. I never break cell phones. My sister does all the time and she always gets them replaced for free. She has had thirteen phones in the past year and a half or so and has only paid for two or three of them. I’ve had four phones ever. I got a Voyager for my birthday in August and it was right after they had came out so it was almost three hundred dollars. It broke in December. It is only hanging by one hinge because the other randomly broke while I was at one one day. I didn’t drop it or break it or anything. It just cracked and broke off completely about two days later. I’ve tried to get a different phone without paying a ton of money, but apparently I don’t know how like my sister because they won’t help me out. Now my phone’s front screen keeps freezing and turning off. I am debating buying a new phone or seeing if they can replace mine with an older phone. These are my options:
- Samsung Sway
- Motorola Z6c World Edition
- Blackberry Pearl
These phones are all between like ten to fifty dollars online. So I’m hoping they aren’t terribly expensive without the new two year agreement. Has anyone had any of these phones? Does anyone recommend one? Or know how to cheat the system and get one for free? ;]
i love;
the sunshine, having good days at work, getting a good grade on my geography test, tanning, listening to my ipod, getting my hair cut, having the most amazing boy in the world, having wonderful friends, finishing my to do list, playing the piano, and finally feeling like I am getting my life in order.
over all, amazing day so far:)
I got accepted into Evergreen. Live at home for two more years, go to school and come back like I am now. Be a barista at Urraco for two more years. Stay safe.
Apply to Western late. See if I get in. Break my boundaries. Experience college. Live in a dorm. Make new friends. Scare myself, but maybe end up having fun.
I thought I picked the safe route. Why am I still thinking about this? What do I do?
Go to western if you want to take the chance! College by far was the best decition of my life. It pushes bounderies and teaches you so so much about yourself. Its scary but totally worth it I promice. Western is an amazing school too.
